Today I read a post by a friend on her Facebook wall that read, "Happiness is when what you think, say & do is in peace with each other". It grabbed my attention strongly but only now I know exactly why.
I am not always truthful about how I feel. I may be thinking one and acting in another way. Mainly because there's a lot of inner struggle within. At times I can't make peace with myself. It's hard to forgive others when they hurt you, especially when that person is special. Because you know it matters that much to you. However I think it's even harder to forgive myself for letting myself down, at least that is the case for me.
Even more so I have too much of an ego to admit that I need anyone else. I often tell myself that it's okay to be alone. That I don't need my Team to be my friends. Then why the emptiness inside?
Now I admit, I can see it. I have left many things unspoken. Swept many issues under the bed but now it's all come back to haunt me. I understand now it's because I did not give these little hurts time to heal but instead I covered the wounds before it could heal properly.
I do wish to be more vocal about my feelings. May the Lord be with me through my weak moments.
